As I share some of myself in these subsequent paragraphs, I hope you can relate to some of my experiences, and understand how my beliefs and motivations have continued to mold me. If you’re curious to learn more, read on.

I could never decide what I wanted to be growing up. Career interests ranged from exploring the stars as an astronaut to helping people see the sky again as an ophthalmologist. The outside world fascinated me. At a young age, I knew that science would remain a significant influence throughout my life.

When I was three years old, I tried to build a time machine by sticking video camera input wires into the back of a TV remote. When my dad asked what I was doing as he snatched the remote from my hand, all he could do was laugh at my response. I had no idea how to build a time machine (and still don’t, fortunately or unfortunately) but I had a thirst to discover the knowledge to create new things.

Throughout my developing love for science and technology, I also became fond of creating art. I loved going to art supply stores with my mom so that I could get new boxes of colored pencils and varying sizes of paper. I started by drawing characters from Dragon Ball Z, but I soon began creating my own characters. I wrote my first comic book in 2nd grade, and continued to develop new worlds and characters throughout my elementary school years.

As I grew into my teens, my love for art extended to creating drawings of cars and houses. My mom often took me to car dealerships and open houses, even though she never intended to purchase a new car or home. I obsessed over each design detail of the collected dealership brochures and floor plans. I improved my designs continuously as I drew sketches well into the early morning hours. From these experiences, I knew I would find a career either as an engineer or architect.

Throughout high school, I took classes to prepare for a future in architecture or engineering. I took advanced math and science courses, as well as additional computer and AutoCAD classes. I felt my life continued on an expected trajectory, until I took creative writing in 11th grade.

We were assigned to participate in NaNoWriMo, which stands for National Novel Writing Month during the month of November. Each of us was required to create a 50,000-word novel in only 30 days. At first it seemed a difficult task, until I started writing.

The characters were a culmination of all my previous experiences, and harkened back to the comic books I created as a child. I created a story that combined mythology, engineering, and the stars – all early interests of mine. Soon, I found that I was the first in my class to complete the assignment in just 24 days.

My returned love for creating stories continued well after November. I found myself sketching characters every day during and after school. The world I created was all I could think of. I started reading and researching graphic novels and what I’d need to do to obtain a career in art and entertainment.

When I reached my senior year of high school, I decided I no longer wanted to be an engineer and instead sought to be a graphic novelist. I didn’t try nearly as hard in my math and science courses, as I assumed I wouldn’t need them in the future.

After graduation I started my first semester of college at Western Michigan University as an English major. I was excited at every opportunity to write, no matter the assignment. Writing felt most natural. My goal was to use what I learned from my coursework to develop graphic novels focusing on fantasy and science fiction themes.

I had a clear destination for what I’d do after undergrad, until doubters’ voices emerged. Classmates from other majors voiced their opinions frequently. While my parents always supported my dreams and believed in me no matter what, other people’s parents did not. I’d constantly hear “you’re never going to make any money” or “you should consider other options” each time I’d tell someone what I wanted to do.

At 18 years old, I wasn’t strong enough to really believe in myself and continue with that path. Their words continuously cut and eventually got to me. After re-evaluating the type of future I saw for myself, I realized that my love for science still remained. I remembered the words of the doubters and my previous scientific interests when planning how I’d pivot.

For my second semester in college, I decided to take more math and science classes. I had also planned to transfer to Michigan State University to pursue an engineering degree for my sophomore year.

And I did.

I switched my major from English to Electrical Engineering out of spite. I wanted to show all those who doubted me that not only would I not be broke, but I’d be more successful than their children. The cruelness of adults who liked to stomp on a young person’s dream unlocked a certain relentlessness in me. I’d reach success as an engineer at whatever the cost.

Throughout my studies at Michigan State, I encountered several difficult courses. Keeping up was rough at first, but I adjusted my study patterns. I made sure that studying came first no matter what. I chose not to work or become involved in many extracurricular activities during the school year. I bonded with individuals with study groups that lasted into the early and sometimes late hours of the morning.

Though engineering wasn’t my original dream, I still enjoyed it. Learning about how the world worked and the best applications for controlling natural phenomena unlocked my brain in ways I had never been able to achieve before. Every day I saw how the things I learned could help solve problems that the world hadn’t even experienced yet.

I graduated as a member of two honor societies, and secured a job as an automotive engineer before graduation. I worked in algorithm development at a top automotive OEM, where I continued to use the hardworking habits I developed from my undergraduate studies.
After my first few months of working, I knew something was missing. “This couldn’t be it,” I often thought. A life dedicated solely to work wasn’t computing with what I’d always imagined my life would be.

My first year was miserable.

I received high recognition from peers and managers, but I didn’t enjoy my life. There were many times where I’d sit in my car for several minutes before walking in my home, as I knew my work would continue until I slept.

I spent the available nights working on app development ideas, hoping to find something that I loved outside of work. I also thought about returning to the university life, so I started studying for the GRE. I even attempted to polish stories of old characters that I created back during my first NaNoWriMo experience from high school, but nothing filled the void.

For years I’d continue to search for what was missing. I proved the doubters wrong and had enough money to cover all of my expenses and put a considerable amount towards savings, but it wasn’t completely the life I wanted. After three years, I left my original job to go work for another group. Though my new position wasn’t as stressful, something was still missing. I searched and searched and searched until one day, I found something.

I played the newest God of War videogame for PS4 and was blown away by the art direction and storytelling that the developers presented. I played the game only to learn more about the characters’ back-stories and observe how mythology was so intricately interwoven into the new story. God of War inspired me to create my own videogame idea, so I brainstormed.

I wanted to develop a videogame following the main character of the novel I wrote during NaNoWriMo in 11th grade. I realized that I would need additional characters, so I thought of their back-stories and how they’d interact with my protagonist. When I came up with the idea of “gods fighting robots on a distant planet,” something took off. I started creating these side characters’ back-stories and described the many ways they would interact with the world.
As I developed more, I knew that their stories would need to be fleshed out more than just a few descriptions of an origin. I focused on this new world and wrote several chapters of a new project describing these characters’ lives. After writing the first 30,000 words of this new story in only a couple weeks, I knew I had created something different this time.

I had found something that gave my life a new purpose, and I certainly didn’t plan on it. I completed the first draft in about six months. The characters remained present with me at all times, and I continue to play through several scenarios for each of them every day. Though my love for writing had long remained dormant, it took a series of random encounters to allow that passion to burn hotter than it ever previously had.

As I continue to work as an engineer and polish my story so that one day people all over the world can read it, I accept that I need to live both parts of my life to live completely. I will always be an engineer who searches for new ways to use scientific processes to advance our world, just as I will continue to write stories describing future ways that science will change the world that aren’t as approachable just yet. I hope to use my writing as a way to entertain people of all ages and backgrounds, while informing and allowing people to see just how far science can take us if we continue to live with open minds.

I write all of this to say that you can do it all. You can balance the expectations of the world by shattering them, while simultaneously developing a life that gives you satisfaction. There will always be those who criticize your choices, but remaining firm in your own actions and beliefs will get you closer to your ideal life than if you let negative voices win over.

Whatever it is, do all that you want. I hope these words help get you that much closer to everything you’ve ever desired. Even if you don’t believe in yourself, just know that I do.